“We are risking our lives in our line of work to find a cure, so please do your part and stay home for us”, “ Together we can get through this if we all cooperate”, “Help where you can”
The word fear. It holds such depth with its plethora of connotations, which could be taken both negatively or positively. As we all sit at home with our loved ones, gluing our eyes onto the television screen to find out the latest news of where we stand, truly reflects the tough times we are in. The word fear is not the only one who sits on this unnerving pedestal. Social distancing- The alarming and yet foreign two words we all wish was not a common one to be used in recent news, let alone start to be a part of our norm. However let’s put a pause on it for just a second. The enforcement of social distancing among ourselves can be draining, but have we ever thought about the purpose of it and how it leads to a term called Social Contract? Just hear me out, and trust me, I am not going to jump into the nitty gritty of philosophy or politics. It is a different view of what Social Contract is all about.
According to the website, Internet Encyclopedia of Philosophy, the definition of Social Contract is, “the view that persons’ moral and/or political obligations are dependent upon a contract or agreement among them to form a society in which they live.” A self explanatory definition of how our world and social system works. Breaking it down to its very essence, it defines how we all have a job to make our society work. It is just like how the nuts and bolts, together with a little oil gets the gears going in a machine. Now, relating back to the current issue we are facing with the Coronavirus, or better known as Covid-19, Social Contract plays a role in a different way as to how we are able to overcome it.
We have leaders, law enforcers, essential service employees, and citizens. Each and everyone of us are facing a crisis with an unknown fate of what is to come from this disease. It is a virus that does not discriminate nor cherry pick its victims. It rolls in with every intention to harm should you step in its line of path, and will not take a second guess of it. A dark and trying year 2020 has been so far, and it is a somber juncture of where our faith is being tested. We have our frontline defenders such as doctors, nurses, law enforcers, medical staff, service workers, politicians, and many other brave souls, who are putting their lives on the line for us. A battle of uncertainty with an enemy of no physical form has our frontline warriors keeping up the good fight with every ounce of energy they can put forth. As much fight we can bring, the wrath of Covid-19 is close to bringing our world to its knees, and as citizens of this great earth, we should do our part to help our leading combatants. I know… the question is, “What can we do? We are not doctors nor law enforcers.” Well my friend, this is where Social Contract comes in and here is where we as individuals can do our part, even if it is just a smidge.
We hear the sayings such as, “Please stay at home” or “Refrain from overbuying. Get what you need only.” As simple as they sound, they are the bullets in our society’s chamber to obliterate Covid-19 out of its very existence. The virus is primarily transmitted through contact and as such, we touch everything around us. Of course, we overlook the amount of things our hands or body make contact with, therefore it is crucial to adhere to the call of social distancing, isolation, and movement control. Our leaders have a duty of providing the information us citizens require. Our doctors, nurses, and medical staff took an oath to act in accordance with helping the sick. Our law enforcers swore to serve and protect the people in their community. Our essential service workers working in industries such as telecommunications, sewage, water, electricity, food production, and others, are working around the clock to ensure the comforts of our homes stay intact. They are risking their lives to put a stop to the spread of the disease and to ensure we are safe from it. So if our leaders call upon us to do our part by staying home, then by God you do your duty on the social contract we evidently signed as we stepped into this world, by sitting your butt down on the couch, and spending as much time with your family. These people who are out there fighting the good fight wish they could hug and kiss their family, but they can’t, because they are putting our lives and their family’s first; as a consequence, neglecting their own. Believe me, it’s nerve wrecking to hear the people we know who are at the hospitals day in and day out treating patients by the droves. Let that settle in your head for just a little. Just think about it. The collateral damage caused by irresponsible actions, weighs heavily on the world scale, and when it tips over, we may never recover from its cataclysmic destruction.
Do your part, and follow the orders that have been given. This is not the time to be selfish in thinking of yourself when others are worried about your life more than theirs. They do not have to be out there risking their well-being, but they know it is their duty after signing the social contract of being a doctor, nurse, or world leader. So you should adhere to your social contract as a citizen by listening to what these people have been crying out to the world for you to do. This is the time where we all should put our differences and ego to the side, and work together, because we are all fighting a common enemy. I know we are scared, and having the thoughts of uncertainty of seeing what the next day brings, or losing a family from the virus is blood curdling. However if we work together and do our part by practicing social distancing, and being considerate of not over buying, we can make a dent in pushing our enemy to retreat. Social distancing does not mean complete isolation with no communication. Call your friends and family, whom you have not been in contact with for quite a while. Some may have lost their jobs due to Covid-19, therefore we should be there to give our piece of encouragement to keep their spirits high. Check in constantly and work on the finer things in life we have taken for granted. Communication comes in many ways and forms, and it can be a powerful entity to make things better, even if the start of the conversation is as little as, “How are you doing?” Use it wisely to spread positivity, instead of fear and panic of false and mislead information. There is no room for hate, negativity, fear, and recklessness, but there is ample space to show solidarity, kindness, love, support, positivity, and hope. Let not this virus cripple our spirit, for we will bring it to its knees if we bind our support, together with our frontliners to fight it. To all who are reading this- Stay safe, stay healthy, and by all means stay positive. Our faith may be tested in this trying time, but rest assured we can rise above it and get through this, by practicing the social contract we signed, to keep society in balance.
The Bandar Malaysia Open was a tournament which brought ignition and engines revving for our golf enthusiasts and competitors in Malaysia. The complete hand brake and park of not going forward with the contract renewals of the PGA CIMB Classic and Sime Darby LPGA brought Malaysia’s golf industry to an all time low and it was in dire need of a jump start.
The Asian Tour and in partnership with the Japan Tour event gave our local golf professionals the opportunity to show their talents, and also gave our competing amateurs a chance to gain out of this world experience. This tournament was not just a comeback from a term of hiatus, but it is an event where we have a good number of local golf professionals known to date, play on home ground. It made the tournament that much special for the people who love the game and who are proud to have such a prestigious tournament on home soil. Life is such, this particular story seemed to be overshadowed by other entities, and as a person who was that much involved in the tournament, it was truly disheartening to see and experience.
I caddied for my brother who was one of the 37 local professionals who earned a spot to play in the event. I remember it clearly. We were on our last hole, which was the 9th dog leg left par 4. His ball was on the left in the rough. Tough shot to say the least, with no view of the green in sight. In all terms, we were flying blind. We counted our yardage, checked the wind, picked a club, and we were ready for takeoff. I climbed up the hill to gain just a slight view of the pin, and his ball was soaring dead at it.
“Be the number baby, be the number!” I whispered to myself. Once I lost track of the ball as it descended from the air, I thought we hit an excellent shot. However we did not hear any sound, let alone a clap from the crowd. At that moment in time my brother and I looked at each other and wondered if the ball had rolled off to the left, or it went way past the green. In our minds, we thought we hit a bad shot. Two of our playing partners hit and we heard claps for both shots. We then started making our way closer to the green, and saw three balls in close vicinity to the pin. Ours was just a tad bit further sitting on the fringe. I looked at my brother with a bewildered look.
“We hit a great shot. Was that not worthy enough for a few claps to show encouragement from where we were?” I said.
My brother looked at me and said, “ Don’t worry about it adik girl. We hit a good shot either way. We will just show it to them.”
Picture by Ahmad Zamzahuri Abas- Malay Mail
This exact reaction projected by the Malaysian spectators is what I have observed and heard on numerous occasions like a broken record, whether it be as a spectator or a player. The paucity of support not only brings down the morale of the atmosphere of the game, but the spirits of the competitors who worked hard to be there on that day.
It truly was upsetting for me because it was not a shot where we were in the bushes or 20 yards off the green. It was a good shot from where we were and thought we made a great recovery. 3 golf balls all within the putting zone, and yet for our local pro who was just slightly further away from the rest, did not deserve any recognition. How does it even make sense? Is it hard to clap for a local professional if they hit an okay shot compared to a foreign player who hit his shot and landed in close proximity of each other on the green? Not only was this an issue I experienced, but another form of degrading was found in a different medium. As a former collegiate golfer, and intend to pursue a career in golf, I told myself, is it worth “the pains of rejection?”
A couple of days ago, I was looking through an old Star Newspaper sports section and came across an article about the Bandar Malaysia Open 2020. The article written by Tan Ming Wai caught my attention. The article expressed great interest in a few professionals to be the only hope Malaysia had in potentially winning the coveted trophy, and was gutted to not have the star player home to play. No disrespect to the writer, but the problem I had with the article was there were a total of 37 Malaysian professionals competing in the tournament. Let me repeat and justify myself. 37 highly skilled individuals who earned a spot to play in a prestigious tournament. Why is it we only have faith in a few? Are the others not qualified enough to rise to the occasion? Gaining a spot in a tournament is never easy. You work your heart out all year to gain ranks. You grind day in and day out to put food on the table, and to earn recognition when you stand on the podium with the trophy at hand while the Malaysian flag is raised with due respect. Each of these 37 individuals did just that to prove themselves that they are worthy enough to perform on the big stage. So why the lack of support and favoritism on certain players? Any of these 37 professionals could be a potential winner who deserves the support and a pat on the back for not only representing themselves at such a high level, but to also put our country first and raise our national flag among renowned international competitors.
What this article represents is the shortcomings of learning about the local golf professionals we have here in Malaysia. Granted we have a few that have ventured out of the country to seek bigger tournaments, but does it give us a right to not recognize the rest who are also competing on a stage where aspiring golfers dream to be in? I read the newspaper article and it really disappointed me to know how we look down on these people who work day in and day out to get better in their line of work. If I was the writer of that article, I would not prominently pick a few players out of the 37 who were competing in the tournament. I would say, “How proud we should be to have a good number of Malaysians representing our Jalur Gemilang on home turf, and how exciting it is to see our boys competing on a big stage, hoping to be the first ever Malaysian winner.” That is how the article should be. Not by saying only 3 or 4 players out of the 37 are the only hope Malaysia has of winning the tournament and worst of it all to say how our only hope of winning is diminished because our No. 1 player decided not to play on his home turf. Patriotism cease to exist, despite achieving his success funded by Malaysian tax payers and private institutions. By the looks of it, it just seems this particular article is degrading our golf professionals instead of boosting their spirits to fight. These golf professionals deserve the recognition for being at the level they are at, and we as Malaysians should stand beside them to give our full support. A little nudge and commendation goes a long way even if we do not realize the significance and power it holds.
“Hey man! You got this! Go out there and do well.”
How does it feel when someone tells you this as you are about to go and do something, regardless of how big or small it is? It feels good doesn’t it? Encouragement is the exact mentality we should have, and not the attitude of looking down on a person if they fail to achieve something. Every single person on this Earth is not perfect. We have flaws, we have strengths, and we have weaknesses. Perfection does not exist in us.
So to all who have read this far, I leave this paragraph with a touch of optimism. Clap when someone performs on a big stage, whether it was a bad or good showing. Cheer when someone goes out to represent your country, even if they did not achieve first place. Encourage when someone has lost all hope, and is not willing to push forward. Last but not least, reciprocate a smile when one is given to you. Life is too short to be judging and degrading someone or something. Be kind always, hate less, and never judge a book by its cover. As a fellow golfer, I am extremely proud of the boys who played in the Bandar Malaysia Open, regardless if they missed the cut or not. It takes perseverance and dedication to earn that spot. Keep up the good fight, and never give up the burning desire to be better than you were yesterday.
“You are a failure”, “You deserve nothing”, “Why do you even bother?”, “Just give up!”, “You will never make it”, ”No one loves you”…
Wait hold up… Let’s switch this negative train around.
“You are not a failure”, “You deserve everything”, “You should put 100% in everything you do”, “Do not ever give up”, “You will definitely make it”, “Just know, that you are always loved”…
There… Much better. Let’s begin.
When we were little, we had huge dreams. A pilot, an astronaut, a professor, a police officer – Our aspirations seemed endless. Then there were days our elation shot through the roof where we dressed up and pretended to be like our idols. The thought of sky’s the limit was in the palm of our hands, and all we would say to our parents after seeing our heroes seizing the day in their line of work is, “Someday, I’m gonna be just like them”, a big dream. By golly does it bring back great memories. Dreams are not just illusions we picture in our minds before we shut our eyes to imagine it. It can blossom if we are able to plant the seed for it to grow, bloom, and come into existence. The question is, are you willing to put in the effort to make your aspirations come true?
In college, at the Professional Golfers Career College, I had a class called the Seeds of Greatness. As unique of a name it held, it was a motivational class to inspire us in achieving our goals. Dr. Tim Somerville, the founder and co instructor of the class told a story which has stuck with me ever since. The story was about a CEO who was in the market for a successor to his company. He had five candidates who were given a seed and were instructed to plant it. The goal was to germinate the seed and grow a plant. So off they went, and the race for the best plant was in motion, however one of the candidates had an issue with his seed. He planted his seed and did all the necessary requirements to grow his plant, and in spite of his efforts, it never grew any leaves nor even a shoot. He did everything in his power to germinate the seed but came to no avail. When the time came for the CEO to pick his successor, the man showed up in the boardroom with a pot only filled with dirt and his seed that never bloomed. The other four however showed up with their respective pots filled with a blooming plant. Whispers start to echo across the table, and the man just bowed his head in disbelief. The CEO walked in and looked at all five pots. He then told the four candidates that had a pot with a fully bloomed plant to leave as they were not chosen for the position. The air became heavy and murmurs of frustration filled the room. Once the four candidates left the room, the CEO looked at the fifth candidate and congratulated him on the new position. The CEO’s reason was because of the candidate’s honesty and perseverance in trying to solve the issue he had with the seed, and did not take the easy way out of the problem. Apparently the CEO had actually given all five candidates a seed that was already dead, and it was never able to grow. His test was to see if the candidates were willing to see it through with the sole task at hand, and not take shortcuts, purely to cheat. He did not want an individual who would cheat their way through, if things don’t go the way they wanted it to. The moral of the story is to do things with candor and heart.
Now Dr. Tim elaborated more in depth in the significance of the story. He explained how we all plant seeds in whatever we do in life. Sometimes it can be good and sometimes it can be bad- it is entirely your decision of what you would do with the seeds that have been given to you. He explained that if we plant good seeds and care for it, the outcome would be outstanding, but if we were to plant bad seeds, it stems into poor decision making and unacceptable behavior. The meaning behind Dr. Tim’s explanation is telling us that if we were to start something in our lives, we should do it right, see it through, and not half-bake our vision. If we decide to be dishonest in our vision, and deceive others, the ripple effect of collateral damage will loom over our heads as we move forward with our immoral decisions. The concept was foreign to me. It never dawned upon me how seeds are the symbolism of our decision making. Every action we take, holds such weight and repercussions.
A pen and paper to write was never a dream I had when I was little. I was a kid who dreamt of performing alongside talented instrumentalists in a philharmonic troop. The sensation of flowing with the beat has always given me the feeling of freedom and peace. It was an outlet for me to shut out the world and be in a place of tranquility. My passion was fired up with engrossment as I dabbled in more than one instrument. I was adamant in pushing myself to be the kid who could play many instruments, and be good at it. Throughout my high school career I learned how to play the piano, violin, trumpet, soprano saxophone, and drums. Long hours of practice, calloused fingers, and a bruised lip- Being a musician was an unyielding dream I had, and it was an unshakeable one. However as life moved on, it became a dream left in the backshelf as new ventures came knocking on my door. Sports, writing, college applications, life changing decisions- It made me put music to the side without realizing how big of an impact it had on me. Even though becoming a musician was not in the books for me, I did come to realize the significance of it. As I write this paragraph, with tunes playing through my headphones, and tapping my fingers and feet away with the beat, I recognized how music was the good seed I planted to get to where I am today.
Music taught me to listen to my bandmates so we all would sound as one, and it even showed me the beauty of friendship and communication. These traits molded my personality to become a better teammate on my golf team in college, and it allowed me to interact with anyone with different views and beliefs, without judgement. Never would I have thought music was the one to change my life. Despite music now being the only beats I hear through other individuals performing, I still have my violins, piano, drumsticks, and trumpet mouthpiece kept at home, and occasionally I would gaze at them for a few seconds to reminisce the times of where all I wanted to do was play. It’s a feeling I can never describe because it was a craft I truly had a passion for, and it was the one thing I took seriously at a very young age.
You grow with time, and plans do not always go as straightforward as you would have dreamt. However there is always a reason for it, and this is why we should start planting good seeds for our stem to grow, branch out to limbs and create the tree of life, which bears the fruits of love and hope. Every decision and step we take is the branch we create on our tree of life. If it is a good decision, we see it bloom into new chapters or symbolically- new leaves and flowers. If we make poor decisions, our stem growth or new branch will wither and die, resulting in a complete halt in expanding our minds to bigger and better opportunities. Now, once we have implanted a new idea or you could say fertilizer into our tree of life, we have to give 100% of us for it to be a success. If we think watering it once a week hoping it will give optimal results at the end of day, then you must be kidding yourself. Every dream we wish for accomplishment is solely from the dedication and effort we put in for it to become true. No one in this world will just give it to you. You have to earn it, and its taste will be that much sweeter when you know you did all the work to make it happen. Never put yourself on crutches, and expect the same exact results as the individuals who run towards their goal.
All the negative quotes was not the way I would start a post, but it had to be said, because each and every one of us have been told these adverse statements in hopes to belittle us, by oppressors who thirst for self-admiration. In this world, there will be people who will throw curveballs at you, and your job to yourself, is to hit a homerun when it comes sailing towards you. They do not decide the fate of your life, you do. Our world is constantly changing and growing. Though sometimes destruction is used in order to satisfy the people in higher power so they could keep the citizens from barking up their alley. We know where we stand with the seeds we have planted for ourselves, so what can we do to ensure good seeds are planted around us, and maybe around the world, despite the negativity we see? What this world is currently facing is the deforestation of the trees of life our ancestors have planted for us to have a more desirable life. It is in dire need of positive change to replace the somber baron lands that once stood the tree of life we seek. Maybe it’s time for us to start planting these good seeds, rebuild our tree of life, and fertilize it purely from our passion and love for the world that is ignited in our hearts. So start somewhere. You could start planting these good seeds at orphanages, animal shelters, or even hospitals. Nurture and water these seeds, because eventually, it’ll spread and grow into better movements. As I mentioned before in my previous post, one person can speak out about change, but when the word of mouth brings forth the people, we then become a force to be reckoned with.
We hear talks of how some goals are not reachable and those who pursue them are just a bunch of foolish dreamers who do not realize the reality check of surviving in this day and age. Well you know what? Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. had a dream, Coach Herman Boone had a dream, NFL player Shaquem Griffin had a dream, Deputy Prime Minister of Malaysia Dato’ Seri Dr. Wan Azizah had a dream, Opera Singer Andrea Bocelli had a dream. I had a dream…
Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. was a pastor who went through hell and back, and marched with thousands to fight for desegregation, so everyone could have equal rights to live and not be judged by their skin color. He traveled close to 6 millions miles and spoke over 2500 times wherever there was injustice to the people. He delivered his “I Have A Dream” speech in Washington, and it became one of the most iconic speeches known to date. He was assaulted and arrested many times, but did he stop believing in what was right? No. Coach Herman Boone was the head coach of the first racially integrated high school football team in the US. Coach Boone initially received criticism and racial calling, because he was African American and people at the time were not approving of the integration of Caucasians and African American students, let alone a head coach like Coach Boone who was of a different skin color. Lo and behold Coach Boone, and his assistant Coach, Bill Yoast turned T.C Williams High School football program around. They led the team to their first State Championship that very same year he was hired, and earned the respect he deserved from the start. Did racial abuse damper Coach Boone in doing his job right? No.
Seattle Seahawks linebacker Shaquem Griffin was born with amniotic band syndrome, which eventually led to the amputation of his hand at the age of 4. His disability was not seen as an obstacle as he went on to play football, baseball, and run track in high school. His determination led to his accolades of earning a scholarship to play football in college, and being drafted to play in the NFL soon after. During an interview with Seattle Times, Shaquem stated, “I do what I do. I live my life the way I’ve been living it. I haven’t changed anything.” He went on to state how helping people is key to his way of life and he loves to hear their story. He said, “I meet so many people and it’s always a different story. It’s always someone who’s trying to overcome something and living out their dreams.” Did his disability stop him from achieving his goal and helping people in the process? No.
Deputy Prime Minister of Malaysia Dato’ Seri Dr. Wan Azizah, never fathomed the involvement in politics, let alone be the next in line should our Prime Minister step out of his office due to unforeseen circumstances. Her first love was being a doctor as she dedicated 14 years of her life as a medical practitioner in our government institutions. When her husband became the Deputy Prime Minister, she decided to focus on volunteer work and was appointed as the patron of MAKNA (National Cancer Council). She later became the leader of the Reformasi movement when her husband was arrested and dismissed as the Deputy Prime Minister in 1998. She led a civil rights NGO called the Social Justice Movement, formed the political party called Parti Keadilan Nasional, and became the first president of the Party. After her husband’s release from prison, and his announcement of returning to politics, Dr. Wan Azizah was ever prepared to make way for her husband to reestablish his position in the political scene. Even with the disqualification of her husband’s application for a seat in Parliament due to sodomy allegations, Dr. Wan Azizah contested for it and retained the seat. People in Malaysia doubted her capabilities solely because she was a woman. Dr. Wan Azizah made it clear and stated to the public that being appointed as the first woman Deputy Prime Minister is proof that women can aim for the stars. Did all her tribulations push Dr. Wan Azizah away from being a leader for the people? No.
Now where do I even start with Andrea Bocelli. A man who went blind due to a soccer injury was still able to gain a law degree and practice it. Music was always a passion of his and he went on to pursue it. Perseverance was key and he eventually caught the attention of the great Luciano Pavarotti who opened up the doors of the Opera world for Andrea, and till today he has never turned back. Did his disability hinder him from living the life he wanted? No. Golf runs through my family’s blood. My goal after high school was to earn a collegiate scholarship to play college golf. I told my goal to a lady I played golf with. She looked at me with a smirk and said, “You? Play college golf? I don’t know about that. With your score of 111, you definitely will have a hard time getting it unless you practice.” What she said stung in the beginning, but I took her negative words and used it as fuel to achieve my goal. Long story short, I earned that collegiate scholarship after working hard on my game for a year, became the team’s captain, earned SSC Commissioner’s Honor Roll, and played all 3 and ½ years of my college career. Did her words damper my goal? The answer is no.
“I say to you today, my friends, that in spite of the difficulties and frustrations of the moment, I still have a dream.”
-Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
So to the kid or adult who was once told their dreams were unreachable, you stretch your arms up and reach for it with every ounce of will you have in you. To the kid or adult who was put to the side because people thought you were not good enough, you show them what it is to not be good, but to be greater beyond measure. To the kid or adult who was born into an unfortunate surrounding, you work your way up because you always have a choice to do things right in your books. To the kid or adult who stood outside the window staring at the item you wanted but never had the means to get it, you put in the grind to save up and one day earn that sweet taste of achievement. Do not, and I say it with the utmost honesty, do not let anyone say you can’t do anything. The phrase, “The world is your oyster” is a saying we should keep as a reminder to never doubt your dreams and vision of building something great for yourself, even if someone says it is the most ridiculous thing they have ever heard. Dreams are not meant to be shattered or ridiculed. Dreams are the fuel and fertilizer we need to grow our tree of life, to bear the fruits of love and hope. Dreamers are the ones who design the innovations and creations we see today. They were not afraid to pursue their aspirations and plant the good seed to create a bigger and better tree of life not only for them, but for the rest of the world. Like my mother would say, “Always aim for A. If you miss it, a B is fine. It is better than getting a D if you aim for C.” Inventors, doctors, teachers, athletes, and many other aspirations, are role models who provide the spark a kid or adult needs to say, “Hey, if they can do it, I can do it too.” So what are you waiting for? Get out there and go do it.
“I am so sorry for your loss”, “I have no words”, “How can I help?”, “I am here for you”, “It will be okay”, “They are not suffering anymore”, “We will pray for them”, “Sending love and prayers your way”, “You are in my thoughts”, “God loves them more”, “If you need to talk, I am here” “They will always be in our prayers”
A delicate subject death is. The unpredictability of what’s to come when death comes knocking at our door is hair-raising. It materializes in many ways; leaving our vulnerability to be unveiled, as bereavement blankets our soul. We have all been touched by the angel of death when our loved ones get taken away from us, and we all encounter its pain in ways only we ourselves are able to understand; but how do we cope and move forward after a profound experience with death?
I lost my brother on June 11, 2018 to cancer. My mother and I were with him before he took his last breath. I held his hand and said I was not going anywhere. He shed a tear as he looked at me, before turning to my mother, hugged her, and said, “I will always love you forever mama.” Within seconds he slipped away from us that morning, just shy of 5 days before Eid . Just like that. How do you fathom or say anything at that moment in time? I froze for a minute to register as I watched his chest move slower and slower. With a moment of realization in thinking I had a chance to save his life just to have another day with him, I ran out of the room to call a nurse. It never fazed me on how we decided earlier on that resuscitation was not an option for us. The nurses followed protocol, but looked at us with a heavy heart and said the very words you would never want to hear.
One of the nurses solemnly said, “Puan, sebab kita telah bincang dan membuat keputusan untuk tidak menyedarkan semula, kami hanya akan monitor sahaja. Kami meminta maaf sangat sangat.”(Ma’am, since we discussed and all had come towards the decision of not resuscitating, we can only monitor your son. We are truly sorry for this.)
We sat there and wept in silence, while we waited for the doctor to confirm his time of death.
His eyes were partially opened and mum walked up to me and said, “Close your brother’s eyes one last time.”
I looked at my mum while holding in my tears, and said, “I just lost my best friend.”
My heart shattered as I hesitantly closed his eyes with my hand trembling from denial. This heartbreaking memory will forever be seared and etched in my mind knowing how I witnessed losing my brother to the angel of death. Not to mention, the agony of sending out text messages to close friends and family saying my brother had passed away that very morning was too excruciating to describe. It has been close to two years since his passing, and my heart is still raw, and the feeling of hopelessness still lingers. As raw and numb as my heart still is from his death, I have learned that grief has no time frame, and I know it was okay to feel how I felt. However, through it all, I learned how to not let it overwhelm me. As they say, time is a great healer.
When he passed, I felt lost. Initially I let myself mourn his loss in solitude, and just wanted to be alone to process the true reality of not seeing or hugging my brother ever again. I would get text messages from close friends asking how I was doing and they would always send heartfelt words, which during that particular period angered me. Thoughts such as, “How would you know I will be okay?” or “You don’t know how it feels until you go through it.” It came to a point where I was sending generic messages back just to keep things civil, but in reality, I was hurting beyond measure. Looking back at it, I knew it was not me who was talking. It was grief. Grief engulfed my heart to the point of where I was not myself and I made irrational decisions. I knew I had to look ahead, regardless of how painful and heavy it was to put my feet and spirit forward in accepting his death.
Bereavement knows no boundaries; it will meet us in passing, one way or another, and the slight brush of its fingertips holds an amplitude of inexpressible weight on our soul. As people would always say, “Well, that is part of life.” So what do we do to cope with that particular moment in our lives? I know it is easier said than done, but life is not about sitting in a dark hole after experiencing a traumatizing event. The statement, “Our faith is being tested” gets tossed out there when we go through a period of grief and I believe it holds significant nuance when it comes to us overcoming tribulations. It is a process we must accept, come what may of what the heartache prompts. If we let it consume us, we may never recover from it, but as I mentioned, grief has no time limit. So we let it take its course and rise from the pain it brings, regardless of how hesitant you are to take the first stride. Everyone’s recovery is different and this is where I say grief works in mysterious ways, because it occasionally brings out a trait we never knew existed in us. It’s just like the saying we hear of how things happen for a reason, and it was meant for us to open up bigger doors with finer moments. I know… I know… It’s insane to think grief is a good thing to experience, but what I am trying to say is to look at the beauty behind the heartbreak and woe it brings. It has its measure of bringing out love, friendship, closeness, unity, family, and many more, in times of tragedy. I saw that, and I can bet my bottom dollar to whoever is reading this, have seen it too in their brief encounter with death. Funny how the world and universe works doesn’t it?
When my brother passed, and we were sorting out his funeral, a cousin of mine, who I have never spoken to in years, approached me at the mosque, hugged me, and broke down in my arms.
Through his pain he said, “Kenapa bila sepupu atau keluarga meninggal, baru nak jumpa? Kenapa kita macam ni? Kenapa kita jumpa macam ni? Abang Faril tak faham kenapa kita jadi macam ni.” (Why is it when a cousin or family member passes away, we finally meet? Why are we like this? Why do we meet like this? I don’t understand why we ended up like this.)
My heart ached beyond measure when I heard those words. It truly broke me to the point where I had no words, but just cried in his arms. It was a moment of realization that we all had done wrong to one another and had to mend our bridges. This was a regret we held onto and had to rectify it for it to never happen again. As we moved forward, we have ameliorated and are in the process of reestablishing our relationship as cousins and family. It’s funny how going through grief is what pushed us to reconcile. I hope and pray this is not the way anyone should go through in order to fix relationships with their friends and family. It is the worst possible way to face the regret of it. However, grief is not all about reconciling, but it also holds people closer and tighter than ever before to strengthen bonds with one another. Every cloud has its silver linings!
Recently we lost a beloved individual who shared his light and wisdom with the world. He wore the purple and yellow jersey with pride, and he was a man who loved his fans and family. Kobe Bryant was a force to be reckoned with. His impact on and off the court was impeccable as it filled the world’s heart with passion and unity. His tragic death, together with his daughter Gianna who we fondly knew as “Gigi”, and seven others, not only took a part of our heart, but it made our world somber. A legend who closed a new chapter of his life too soon, and a young prodigy hoping to flip through her introduction page and fill her father’s shoes was cut short. We start to question. How could this happen? Why is the world so cruel? His death was sudden and painful to accept. However through it all, it struck a spark of unity among the people from all over the world. We saw the jersey numbers of 24, 8, and 2 being worn by so many. The outpouring of love for these individuals, outmeasured the grief which we all came to face with. We saw fans who have never met, consoling each other as they grieved the loss of their hero. Florists were providing free flowers for fans as they laid it at the entrance of Laker Nation’s home ground, because, “This is LA.” Staples Center, LAX, and all over the world, lit purple and yellow in solidarity to pay accolade to our beloved Mamba. To me the most touching moment was the University of Connecticut’s tribute in honoring Gianna, as they laid a No. 2 jersey with a bouquet of flowers on a courtside seat for our treasured Mambacita before their game. For Coach Alto, who passed in the tragic incident as well; his team bowed their heads in melancholy in their home ground dugout until a fire truck came by, and a fireman on the loudspeaker spoke, “Coach Alto was a friend of ours too.” We grieved because we lost someone we all loved and adored, but we all stood together in solace to pay respect to them.
Kobe’s passing was cataclysmic, but we can take this moment to realize, even with the loss of someone we looked up to and loved, can bring out something beautiful through the pain we are facing. It does not have to be losing a well known individual to bring this rare gem forward. You can see it peeking through the murky depths of grief when we lose a family member or a friend. We may never recognize it until the fact of sitting in a corner and watching the people who show up for you when you are in a dark place, come to help put you in a better picture. You may not understand early on the significance of the judgment being put upon you when you lose someone, but the symbolism behind it has far superior meaning when we look back at it. Kobe would not want us to give up on life just because he is gone. He had a mission, and we have a duty to continue his mission to inspire everyone we meet. I know my brother would not want me to waste my life away just because he is not here in body. Before he passed, he gave me a necklace with three stars as a graduation gift.
I asked him, “Why stars?”
He smiled and responded, “Because I want you to reach for the stars in everything that you do.”
Well you know what? I am doing just that by reaching the stars in continuing his mission with one act of kindness at a time.
“Pain doesn’t tell you when you ought to stop. Pain is the little voice in your head that tries to hold you back, because it knows if you continue, you will change.”
Kobe Bean Bryant
To all who have lost someone in their lives- Do not fear the word death and grief. It is a part of life and it has no room to hold you back as you move forward in this universe. The people we love may not be with us in flesh and blood, but their soul will forever live on in our hearts, and know that they are also the stars above us, shining a light to guide us through this crazy thing we call life. Their lessons, their mistakes, their achievements, and their love, is our driving force to take the bull by the horns to achieve our goals. Hug and kiss your loved ones today, because you may never know when it would be your last to talk or hold them. Heck… Smile at a stranger in passing. You do not know what they are going through, and maybe… Just maybe, that smile of yours is their beacon of hope to better themselves and have a greater meaning to live another day. Love more, hate less. Life is too precious to just sit on the bench when you could be telling Coach to put you in, and flourish with the 3 pointers you have for your existence in this world. You only get one shot at this, so make it count.
Picture this- You just got out of a long haul flight, hair is all bundled up in knots you never thought existed, and you’re lugging out your overweight suitcase which you knew you had packed up the wazoo. You feel crummy and all you want is a good shower with a fresh batch of clean clothes after, am I right? Admit it, even with the urge of either getting back home or heading to the hotel, you pause just for a few seconds right before exiting the arrival hall to read the sign that says “welcome” in different languages. In full disclosure, I do.
I find it highly fascinating, because we live in a world where there are various languages spoken by so many, and still some I have yet to learn exists. Languages range from pictorial, characters and symbols, to our standard alphabets that varies dramatically from culture to culture. Now here is where we start to question- How did language come about? A form of communication, yes, but how did the pillars of language develop? We can dive right into history’s infinity pool, but that is not what I am here to talk about. A little dabble here and there to state my point, but the main agenda of this article is more than that. So let’s begin.
So here is my question to you readers out there. What is language? What is the definition? We can stick our heads into the Collins Dictionary, or lean towards our good friend Google to search the meaning, but what is the definition of language to you? Well, here is what I think it is.
I see language as a beautiful art we all should learn to embrace and understand. Learning a new language is not an easy task. Believe me, I had my experience learning Mandarin and Japanese, and boy was it not a straight walk in the park. However, the benefits of educating ourselves about a country and its language, results us in gaining the ability to understand the reason for the creation of their mother tongue. Not only do you gain the capability of being more than a monolingual, but you get to cultivate yourself more by broadening your perspective on different cultures. Going back to my previous post of my mother being born out of three races, she understands a little Cantonese, and Tamil due to her upbringing. Now let me tell you, it is always a treat to see her communicate with the servers at our local mamak joints, and the little stalls at our local morning markets. This is a lady with fair skin who wears a hijab, and hearing a word of Cantonese or Tamil from her is the least you would expect. The reactions we get never tire as people always stare in bewilderment. I think the most memorable interaction my mother had was with the Soya Bean and Air Mata Kucing seller at our local night market. We always stop by his stall to get a cold drink before heading home, but never struck a conversation with him until one day we realized his wife was not with him.
As my brother ordered our drinks, my mum went ahead and asked him, “Uncle, aunty mana hari ini?” (Uncle, where’s aunty today?)
He then responded, “Aiya leng lui, aunty sakit lutut. Baru buat operation. So duduk rumah.” (Oh pretty girl, aunty’s knee is hurting. Just did a knee replacement, so she is sitting at home.)
As the conversation continued, my mother passed a comment that struck the old man’s curiosity.
My mother said, “Hou jit. Later it will lok sui” (Really hot today. Later it will rain.)
The uncle stopped what he was doing, looked at my mother and began to ask, “Leng lui, you campur Cina?” (Pretty girl, are you mixed with Chinese?)
My mother started to laugh and responded, “Ya, my ma is half Chinese half Malay.”
He smiled and responded, “Can hear your voice. You bunyi macam Cina. You banyak pandai cakap Cina.” (Can hear your voice. You have a natural Chinese accent. You speak really good Chinese.)
I could not contain my smile and amusement from the conversation, because not only was it hilarious to hear my mother with a different accent, but it was such a natural and heartwarming interaction of two different individuals speaking in three different languages at the same time, with such mutual respect for one another. Their little conversation has such significance where language has no barriers for anyone. As I survey the people of Malaysia, the trait of communicating with a different language besides good ol’ English or our famous Manglish, is at an all time low. It seems the interest of learning a different language is at the bottom of anyone’s priority list, or have no enthusiasm to take an initiative to grasp something new. I too fall in a similar category after throwing away years of learning Mandarin down the trash shoot; merely to the fact of it being more of a forceful way of learning, rather than encouragement. Till today I regret my actions, but I know there is always room to gain it back, and I believe everyone can take the initiative to do so if they desire to delve into a new trait.
I have to say, hearing the talks about language always brings me back to an old time iconic classic, and one of my personal favorite songs- “ABC” by the Jackson 5.
“A B C, easy as one, two, three, are simple as Do Re Mi…” Admit it, we can’t help ourselves from bobbing our heads or tapping our feet to the beat of the song if it comes on, whether you understand the language or not.
Now… Hearing talks about how learning a different language with a completely different alphabet system is considered as a form of radicalizing? Oh boy… In my mind, that is the sound of a tonearm falling off a vinyl record in midsong. Language is a universal entity which allows us to connect with one another, and to grant us the gift of human interaction called “communication,” resulting in good communities . It should not be seen as a source of negativity among different races and religions, just because of its differences in letters, symbols, characters, or pronunciations. Unfortunately, we do not live in a perfect world filled with rainbows and sunshine. We are all human; there will always be contestation and differences in certain areas of interest, but the word “compromise” does not just exist in our dictionary to look pretty. It symbolises tolerance for the differences that exist in whatever form, shape, character, color, size, and so on.
Malaysia has been blessed with an array of cultures, encompassing an assortment of languages and distinct dialects. From our national mother tongue Bahasa Melayu, to Mandarin, Tamil, Iban, and many others- we sure pack a punch in the lingo department. Despite our ethnic diversity in this beautiful country, lately the talks of language have been misconstrued as a form of religious reformation. Religious reformation? Language? Now that is a tough pill to swallow as these two are completely different articles. Think about it for just a second. How is learning a language considered as religious reformation and movement? Beats me, but let’s talk about it. No harm in discussing a very interesting , and extremely important topic.
Recently Malaysia delved into the intricacies of the alphabet Jawi being implemented in schools, and have received backlash of it being a form of back door religious reformation. Let me repeat myself- “the alphabet Jawi.” Buckle up, we’re going back in time to understand the formation of languages. According to Britannica, the Malay language is derived by the combination of Latin and Arabic alphabet. The Arabic alphabet is known as Jawi, and it can be found in various other languages spanning across South East Asia. It is true, back when merchants and travelers were prominent, the spread of different religions became exponential, and it saw the progression of Islam in various parts of the world. It resulted in the adaptation of Jawi in the Persian, Spanish, Turkish, and Swahili language, because these travelers had only known Jawi as their main vernacular. A little trade here and barter there, languages intertwine with each other, and bam; another lingo is established in a new country. The mixture or use of languages do not justify the formation of a religion in a country. Islam is a religion practiced, and Jawi is an Arabic script or alphabet for writing Malay, Achenese, Banjarese, Minagkabau, Tausug, and several other languages in South East Asia. This was the language spoken by the travelers who made their way around the world. How did we come about to Jawi being a religious language to convert kids in school? Please do some research and reading to form a decent understanding of any topic that needs speaking about before you rattle irrational statements. Naive or pure ignorance? I don’t know. You tell me.
If we are staunch believers of Jawi, Tamil, or Madarin being a source of converting faiths, then by all means, we are all a horrid concoction of religious mush. We are neither, Islam, Hindu, or Buddhist; So what are we at the end of it all? I hate to say it, but if this is the path we decide to take, then we might as well get rid of the Tamil and Mandarin languages from our education system and shut down our Chinese and Indian schools because it could be a tactic to convert our school kids to Hinduism and Buddhism. Or even worse, take English out of our curriculum, because it could be a way to convert our kids to Christianity. If we are not able to see eye to eye to find a resolution, then I guess we should just shut all our educational institutions down and live like nomads. Seeing myself type these preposterous sentences out truly has me shaking my head in disappointment. Every time you speak or learn a different language, you’re converting your religion. That sentence itself, does it even make sense to you? Makes 2 + 2 = 22 sound logical. This is where a little sit down with a civil discussion could put this issue to bed.
We in Malaysia, are very lucky to live with such a diverse population. The ability to live harmoniously without war among races and religion is something to applaud and be grateful for. We are considered lucky compared to the rest of the world, where either nature acts on its own to cause destruction due to big climate issues, or intervention causing unbelievable eradication due to unwarranted wars. Granted we have our squabbles here and there, but no bloodshed, including obtaining our independence on August 31, 1957, and welcoming immigrants who came to Malaya prior to our freedom with open arms. As a country that has the most secular or religious holidays in the world, we should be proud of how we are able to cater for so many races and their respective religions. These holidays will take us from our routine work days, and sometimes investors think we are a “lazy nation” with too many holidays! So much for accommodating the diversity of this nation and not be appreciated for it. At the slightest prick of a needle, we jump and make a mold into a mountain. Why all the negativity and jealousy? We should be positive with our rare gem called diversity and set an example. We could use this as an educational tool for not just our own citizens, but for the rest of the world. Instead, we point fingers at each other for instilling religious reform, and making a mockery of our education system. It takes only just one body to impart fear and paranoia over a subject matter which has no relation to religion. All hell breaks loose, and volcanoes erupt. However when things get unruly, they try to wash their hands clean by providing inaccurate statements, and retracting their previous proclamation. As my mum would always say, “Their mouth moves faster than their pea sized brain.”
I think the missing piece to this issue is the basic understanding of analogy between religion and language. Let’s be honest here. Every religion’s holy text has been translated to help readers understand the right meaning of what is stated in the holy scriptures of the respective religion. If you were to go and purchase a holy scripture, whether it be the Bible or the Quran in downtown Kuala Lumpur, you could get it in Bahasa Melayu, English, Mandarin, Tamil, or even in digital form with enunciations and meaning of the texts. What more do I have to say? We do not live in times where holy scriptures were burnt because the concern of religious reformation was at an all time high. We have come so far in accepting people for who they are and what they believe in. So why start taking a step back and stirring the pot, instead of moving forward? Our ancestors did not work this hard for us to decimate their positive movements in bettering the world, just so we could flaunt our ego.
All the altercations and bickering will not solve the issue we have about instilling Jawi in our school’s curriculum. As I mentioned before, compromise is a word which bears so much weight, but we tend to overlook its significance and importance. Let me be clear, compromise does not mean giving up, but consensus on what needs to be addressed. We have come this far by living amicably, so why not make it better by providing an educational class on the religions we have in our country? Similar to the teachings of a World Religions’ class in college, but a much simplified version to cater for our kids in our primary and secondary schools, so mutual respect is part and parcel in instilling an ingredient for our future generation. It’s not a solution, but it is a start and a compromise to educate our young ones about the difference between religion and language. They will gain the knowledge of how religion came about and how languages co-relate to the expansion of multiple faiths around the world. I believe educating and understanding history is what will put this issue at bay. Not only will it help ease the problems of this issue, but it nurtures our young ones to accept and understand different cultures and religions. Jumping right in with implementing a language where people have mixed views and insufficient explanation on knowledge of the matter, will obviously bring negative judgement. Instead of implementing positivity of learning a new language, it is tarnished over rash and irresponsible decisions, remarks, and actions.
“I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better.” -Maya Angelou.
Maya Angelou’s quote resonates well with the issue we have today. We know the backlash of the initial proposition of instilling Jawi into schools have caused disorder in our education system. So why not we take the backlash, figure an alternative, and do better. Consider it a highly constructive criticism to improve our education system to help nurture our future generation. It does not hurt to take a fall on something; as long as you get back up and push harder to make better changes. I live by the motto of never giving up hope. Not every decision we make is always going to go smoothly. We must take it in good faith that it could be a sign of making bigger things with it if we are willing to dig deeper in creating a better outcome out of it. Learning a language in school; it is a very positive stance, but it has to be dealt in a manner where all basis of uncertainty are covered.
I know the comments and aggressive stance of certain organizations and a few individuals have agitated the public to think conversion of religion is a possibility if Jawi was implemented in our education system. For many of these organizations or individuals, who hang their foreign degrees and doctorate certifications proudly in their office, it’s hard to believe they could stoop this low and have a very shallow thought process. It truly is shocking. So much so, our very own ministers of our institutions are following in line with them. However these are cowards who did not think things through and eventually caused a ruckus in our institution. The fear of hostility and dissent falling upon them after being overwhelmed by scrutiny, resulted in a persuasive and distilled retraction to clean the dirt off their name. As Frank Underwood would say, “What is the face of a coward? The back of his head as he runs from the battle.” So the big question of the day is, what was their intention for creating the dispute, and where are they now to answer us? Tick tock buddies, we’re all waiting to hear it.
“I am a Malay.” “I am an Indian.” “I am a Chinese.” “ I am a Chindian.” “I am Hispanic.” “I am Caucasian.” “I am African American.” “I am transgender.” “I am gay.” “I am non-binary.” “I am a Christian.” “I am a Buddhist.” “I have no religion.” “I do not believe in labels.” “I would rather keep that to myself.” “I am still figuring that out.” “Is this an important question?”…
We could go on and on with how we identify ourselves… So who are we really? What is the connection we have among each other?
We ask ourselves these questions every single time a moment of epiphany hits us while we ponder about life’s biggest questions. Sometimes we dive in way too deep into the abyss of our minds, and we start to think, who am I? What makes us different? How did we end up here? I may sound like a crazy person talking about it, but it is a legitimate question we all tend to ask without even realizing it, and maybe would want to hear an answer.
My family is the definition of a cultural melting pot. Both my parents are from different states in Malaysia, with a plethora of races and religious backgrounds all bound into one. You could say we make up the pallet for the creation of a rainbow. My brothers and I grew up learning the history of where our families came from. My mother is a child born out of three races. She is of Chinese, Malay, and Sri Lankan descent. Quite the mixture if you ask me. As far as her family knows, they believe her Chinese ancestors came all the way from the Sichuan province in China. She would always tell us stories of how it was like to grow up in a family of multi races. I loved the story of how our great great great grandmother who was a foot binder, chewed tobacco, wore silk Sam Fus, and put her hair in a bun with a sparkly studded clip everyday. To me, I felt she was a straight up boss lady who strutted her stuff and never took any crap from anyone. My mother even told the story of how she would avoid the front entrance of her great great grandmother’s Courtyard House in Malacca when she was a kid, because she was scared to pass the coffin and Chinese altar. The culture experience did not stop there. As my mother was ready to tie the knot with my father, she had a huge headache of trying to cater for her Chinese, Malay, and Indian relatives for her wedding feast and wedding attire all at the same time.
My father’s family tree on the other hand is on a whole different level. A globetrotter of a family ranging from Muslim preachers and traders from Yemen, to merchant ship captains sailing around the Straits of Malacca and the South China Sea. His stories felt like blockbuster movies you’d see of traders in the Far East or history books which could be found in Britannica’s library. His favorite story to tell is of my great great grandfather, merchant ship captain, Captain Yahya, who traveled to countries such as Indonesia, Singapore, and Thailand. Not to mention, when he made port in Singapore, that’s where my great grandmother was conceived. My father would always make a joke where he would not be surprised if his great grandfather had a wife at every port he came to. Listening to my dad telling us the history of how our family came to be always left us with eyes gaping and jaws dropping from astonishment.
The stories our parents tell us have always left us intrigued about our ancestors, and sometimes leaving us in tears, together with a belly ache from laughing too hard. As much laughter and heartwarming stories my mother would tell, at the end of it, she would always remind us of how we should never judge a person regardless of their race, religion, gender, or beliefs. Her reason? These are her words, “What makes you think you are better than the rest of the world? What runs through your body right now? It’s blood correct? What color is it compared to everyone else? Your blood color is just the same as everyone else and when we leave this earth, we go the same way. Stay humble and have respect for one another.” Her explanation became a life lesson my brothers and I have held onto dearly.
We live in a world where labels have become part of the norm, so much so, it has been abused. To me labels are fine. Go ahead and call yourself a Malay, Chinese, or Hispanic; there is nothing wrong with it. You should be proud of who you are and where you came from, but once you start using it as a form of abuse, I believe it to be unacceptable behavior. Not only is it offensive, but it is a shameful act. Lately since I have been back in my home country Malaysia, I tend to hear hateful and hurtful comments such as if you are a certain race, you get benefits, or your race causes many issues to the public. I think to myself and wonder, how is passing these vulgar comments considered acceptable in our society? We talk about being a country of unity with our 1Malaysia campaign and Malaysia 2020, heading to an industrialized nation supposedly, and yet we still degrade each other by our skin color, race, gender, and personal views. With the attitude we have, it honestly sets us back in time by passing crude comments just for a little taste of ego pie. Is it worth it? Ponder on that for just a little.
Honestly, what makes us so different to the point where hierarchy beats all reasons such as being human, or how we bleed the same color? How did we end up in this state? Money? Power? Political views? Old-fashioned jealousy? I guess picking your poison is the literal translation for the bickering and confrontations we see among our own citizens here in Malaysia, or anywhere in the world. We let outside entities play a huge part in how we live our lives to the point where basic human decency ceases to exist in our daily conversations and actions. I understand that these entities are what has shaped and transformed our civilization for the better, but does it have to change us in forgetting where we come from or how to still be a decent human being? It does not hurt to hold the door for someone, or even give a smile to a stranger in passing. I feel we have lost the very foundation of human interaction and the ability to hold a conversation without squabbling over controversial topics, and to agree to disagree in a civil manner. I hate to say it, but the rise of social media and technology played a small role as to how we ended up being screen communicators instead of talking to someone in person. I’ll admit I do have my fair share of screen time, but at the end of the day, I still put my phone away when I have to, because I know human interaction matters more than just staring at my phone all day.
We in Malaysia talk about how religion is one of the very essence of our existence and civilisation. If you ask me, our biggest problem here is how we think a certain race or religion holds leadership, or to put it in simple words, wears the pants in the relationship. We have this mentality of where if we mix with another religion, they might have the intention of asking us to switch our beliefs, and weaken our faith. Pardon my language, but to me that is a load of BS. I learned a greater lesson back in 2017 of where faith is never bound to one religion. I learned how faith is what’s true in our hearts, and not solely by our religious beliefs. My parents raised me to respect all religions regardless of what their beliefs are, but that very year in 2017, it made me embrace the true beauty of it even more.
My brother was diagnosed with Metastatic Ewing Sarcoma at the age of 28 in April 2017. He received his medical care at UCSF Benioff Children’s Hospital in San Francisco for a year before he reached his finish line and ended his fight in June 2018. Even though he was only able to fight for his life for such a short period before leaving us, we were able to witness the true meaning of human interaction within that year. My family and I crossed paths with wonderful and beautiful at heart individuals during that trying period. Bear with me, the story is a little long, but it has such an impact as to where we should all stand by when it comes to having faith.
The very moment I found out my brother had cancer, I had no idea of what to do. Our parents and brother were all the way back in Malaysia and it was just me and him in the United States. By default, I became his primary caregiver. The only thing running through my mind was that I needed to get to him. I took the first flight out right after school on a Friday from San Diego to San Francisco. I was beyond scared because I was tossed into the deep end and had to find my way back to shore. That particular weekend was an emotional rollercoaster. I had to learn how to take care of him and also take responsibility of his medication when it came down to the nitty gritty if things went south. The only salvation I had from the hospital was the family area down the hall from his room. I sat there for a moment to clear my head, and a lady walked in to heat up her lunch. We made eye contact and smiled at each other.
Later on she turned around and asked me, “Who are you here for?”
I responded, “My brother. He just got diagnosed this week with Ewing Sarcoma. What about you?”
She looked at me with a faint smile and said, ”My son. He has a tumor in his brain.”
It was quiet for a moment as reality had sunk in for the both of us. She then looked at me and asked,”What is your brother’s name?”
I said, “Mohamad Haikal Afiq.”
She came up to me, gave me a hug and said, “I am going to Church later today. I will pray for your brother.”
This was a lady I had just met, had no contact with, and yet she offered her hand to provide strength and faith for my brother. We come from different parts of the world, and are of different religious and cultural backgrounds, but yet we put all things aside and focused on being kind to one another. It did not matter if I was a Muslim and she was a Christian. It did not matter that she was African American, and I was Asian. What mattered was the kindness we had for each other. That my friends is what we need more in this world.
If we really want to dive in deep with the hardcore religious beliefs, we can dabble in that as well. The hospital provides chaplains should there be a need for last rights or just someone to talk to. They had chaplains who came to the rooms daily and offered prayers, regardless if you were Muslim, Jewish, or other faiths. Their sole purpose is to provide comfort, and warmth without having religion be a huge part of their assignment. Reverend Jun came into our room one day and offered us his daily prayer, and to talk to us should there need be.
After he was done with his prayer, he looked at our brother who flew all the way from Malaysia to help, and said, “If you wish to perform your Friday prayers, we have a prayer room downstairs with the kiblat for our Muslim families.”
Just let that settle into your mind for a moment. Need I say more to justify my intentions of this letter to the world? This is a country where Islam has had its share of misunderstandings due to a few bad apples who misinterpreted the holy texts and executed despicable things. However the thought for caring and understanding where people stand, they sit at a much higher level compared to our people here in Malaysia. Yes, that is right. I have no shame in putting my two cents in of where Malaysia is as a country, compared to when I left for the United States. Honestly, it is truly disheartening to see when Malaysia is supposedly to be a melting pot of all different races, religions, and culture, which should be nurtured to the maximum for the world to emulate. Instead we have a fair amount of women nurses who do not want to touch a male patient, just because they view it as not permissible to do so in their religion. If that is the way your cookie crumbles, then by God you should not even be a nurse for that matter. We are light years away from becoming a country of unity if this is the mentality we wish to stay in.
In Islam, it states how you should always help a person during “Darurat” regardless of the situation, whether it be to provide aid to a person who is in need of assistance, or even an animal who has lost its way. The definition of Darurat is known as a state of emergency. If someone goes to the hospital, it means they are in a state of an emergency and requires medical attention. Like I mention before, a few tend to misinterpret the holy text, and overshadow the true meaning of it. With what my family and I have experienced in the United States during my brother’s treatment, I believe the people there understand and embrace the beautiful connotation of Darurat better than our Muslim brothers and sisters here in Malaysia, even if they do not know such a word exist in the language vocabulary. My father loved to use a quote by Muhammad Abduh, who was an Egyptian religious scholar, jurist, and liberal reformer in his explanation of religion. Muhammad Abduh’s quote was, “I went to the West and saw Islam, but no Muslims; I got back to the East and saw Muslims, but not Islam.” Simple yet powerful to state the truth and experience of what we went through, and I would not be surprised, many who have read this far would have seen and experienced it too.
The lady and chaplains were just a small part of our journey. Our doctors and caregivers who came from different backgrounds and faith became family to us. My brother’s doctors, Dr. Vo, Dr. Neela, Dr. Anne, Dr. Braunstein, Dr. Teymour, and Dr. Jori, who spent countless hours to prepare his treatment plans. His nurse practitioner, Cindy, who was our momma when our mum could not be there due to logistical issues. Our brilliant social worker Kathleen, who saved us from financial woes when it came to his treatment, putting our hearts at ease in regards to his medical bills, and saving time to even make ice cream with us. The chaplains, Reverend Will and Reverend Jun, who visited patients daily to offer prayers and comfort. The Posey family, who provided undivided attention to all families who needed a break from being in the hospital, by providing seats for us to enjoy America’s greatest past time at the ball park. To the families we met along the way, it has been a true blessing to meet such positive people who still know how to laugh in difficult times. Let’s not forget about the nurses, patient caregivers, therapists and Family House staff, Sandra, Peter, Kristen, Monique, Beryl, Sarah, Dwayne, Tracy, Maggie, Jennifer, Matthew, and many others who we are forever grateful for. They were the ones who gave their full attention to us regardless of time and day. Last but not least, UCSF’s very own lovable service dog Momo, who always made everyone light up when she walks into the room. These beautiful individuals were the ones who provided nothing but unconditional support and love for us when we needed help. They did not see us any different than just people who required a shoulder to cry on or even just to have small talk.
To sum it all up, I believe by having empathy and good ol’ kindness on your side of the ring, it overshadows hate, racism, and many other forms of discrimination. I personally think we are capable of adding a gist of that in our daily lives to suppress the hate we see today. In this day an age everyone talks about how social media is the key to spread awareness. To a certain extent I believe it to be true. Everyone is technologically bound as a source of communicating with people who may not be in the same continent as you. However, sometimes when we want to voice our opinion, it easily fizzes out after a mere comradery discussion with other internet users who are on the same page as you. I personally believe it should be a combination of both social media and meeting people in person to make a change. I may just be one person who is speaking about it now and asking for change, but rest assured, never underestimate the power of word of mouth. The more people talk about it, the higher chances of us being heard, and we as a nation will be a force to be reckoned with.
So do not be afraid. Speak up, and fight intellectually, with a civic conscience. You kill hatred and discrimination by stating the truth without using vulgarity. Community is not the only form of unification of humility and humanity without borders. It is the Color of Blood, which is undoubtedly the glue, because it is “red”, and omnipresent in everyone, human or animal.
Overall throughout the whole semester, I have learned quite a fair bit of skills that I can use in my journalistic work. Journalism is no longer a career that solely relies on pen and paper to get their story out. Multimedia and technology have made their name in the journalism world and it helps to promote news easier to the public.
The first that I take from the class is that I have learned to use various kinds of multimedia platforms to report my stories and share it to the public. It is a skill that I personally think will be beneficial when I graduate and using that in my line of work. Instead of being just a journalist, I can be a photojournalist and report at the same time and I can even publish and send in my stuff to my editor with my phone. I think learning the technological aspect of journalism is something I will definitely keep with me.
The second thing I learned in the class is the ways of doing field work for a story. The different techniques such as being Homer Simpson in the bush where you are in the surroundings and people are not bothered to wonder why you are there. Really helps to bring out the story. It would seem more natural and it would not look like it was staged or fake. I definitely gained a lot of experience with the field work that I have done. It helps to understand what a reporter would do in the field.
The third thing is time management to work on a deadline. Every week there is always a post due for a beat project and you have to work quickly in order to get the work done. Sometimes it is hard to get the information you need and sometimes we have to go beyond our limits to actually get it. I think that will best prepare me for my journalism career.
I think multimedia is important in the journalism world because technology is the new deal and everyone is getting their news online instead of reading print newspaper. So having the skills and ability to work with the internet and different tools on the scene to get the story will really make the work a lot easier and faster. Editors now are asking journalists to become the photographer on the scene as well because it just makes the job easier. All they need to have is a smartphone with a camera and the rest will be easy to do.
I think the main struggles I had this semester was getting to my place for my beat project. Getting the schedule and making sure that the kids are there was a struggle but I pushed through. Sometimes when i was filming and taking pictures the kids would stare at the camera or they shy away. So that was a struggle to get good footage.
My beat project is important because it builds sportsmanship in young kids and that they can focus on sports as a positive thing instead of doing negative things. I think it would help change the mindset of golf being a rich sport so it definitely would help kids who are not privilege to understand that they can do anything.
The Greco Middle School of Tampa took a field trip to the First Tee to have their last session playing golf before the semester ended for the winter break. The kids had hands on training and different activities that they could do while they were there.
Social media is important to have because it will help to promote my story to my peers. I have friends on my social media who are golfers and they would be interested to read my beat project story.
2. Who are my audience? What kind of people are they? Ages, genders, locations, occupations, educational level, etc.
My audience for my beat project story would mostly range around the early 20’s and early 30’s. My peers would be able to volunteer at the First Tee if they take a look at what they are doing for these kids. For the early 30’s it could be parents who wants their kids to do after school activities.
3. What do I want to tell them?
I want to spread the word about how great The First Tee is as an organization. It give opportunities for people to volunteer and helps these children love a game that is very uncommon to have for an after school activity.
4. How am I going to tell them?
I will post my blog URL onto my Facebook and twitter. Usually Facebook would work better for people to view it and read it. I could even choose to verbally spread it and they can go onto my wordpress page to read it.
5. Which social media sites will I use?
Medium, Tumblr, Google+
6. What tags or hashtags should I use?
golf, The First Tee, beat project, Tampa, Rogers park, volunteering, pictures & videos.
7. Which existing communities can I tap into?
The Tampa Metropolitan YMCA which is affiliated to try and help The First Tee.
8. What qualities seem to be in evidence among existing social media accounts that are very successful and popular in the general area of my Beat Project topic?
A lot of the people I follow or are friends with on social media, all play golf or have an interest with golf and volunteering. I think that will help to make my beat project successful and hopefully people would share it on their social media page.
9. How will I know if my social media campaign is working?
If I start getting comments or even likes from my posts. That will be a good start to see where my beat project will go. Hopefully with the likes and views, people might share it.
World Footprint 
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