“I have found that among its other benefits, giving liberates the soul of the giver.”
Maya Angelou
Charity- A word with such meaning, that undoubtedly holds a special place in my heart. I would have to say it is a term I do not take for granted. I guess it is the empath in me to seek solace in the beautiful vibe charity radiates, and to be honest it gives a sense of clarity that I am doing right by the world, even if it is just a tiny speck. You know, my mother constantly reminds us till this day of how charity should always begin from home. Of course the first meaning is to help the people around you. The second context however, to her ever so constant reminder, is how we should always do charity from the heart, and not from the thought of pleasing your ego or to gain recognition from the community. A lesson I hold on to dearly if you ask me.
You see, charity does bear many definitions, but the Cambridge dictionary gave a few interpretations, which I believe illuminates the true hidden gem of it. The Cambridge dictionary states the word charity as, “The quality of being kind to people and not judging them in a severe way,” and “Charity is also the belief that you should help people.” Now these two right here are what I consider the true connotation of what charity should be. In my honest opinion, helping someone in our means is already a deed of charity in my books. The range charity falls on the giving spectrum is infinite. Just to name a few, it can be as big as donating our old items, giving a small fund to an organization that needs it, or transferring and sharing or knowledge. Go big or go home is a cliche saying for sure to make significant change, but we can also practice charity that is as small as just a smile to a stranger as well. Your actions to make someone’s day, is an act of charity. It is just like the saying by Prophet Muhammad, Peace Be Upon Him. The Prophet states, ”Your smile for your brother is a charity. Your removal of stones, thorns, or bones from the paths of people is a charity. Your guidance of a person who is lost is a charity.”
In Islam, I learned that the word charity is stated more than once in the holy scriptures of the Quran. We have what are called Zakat, Sadaqah, and Sadaqah Jariyah. Now Zakat is one of the very foundations holding up the 5 Pillars of Islam. What it means is giving alms to the poor. In all simplicity is to provide a little bit of your earnings for the poor. Zakat is usually done around the time we embrace the month of Ramadhan, due to the requirement of paying it before Eid comes rolling in. Now when I look at Zakat and Ramadhan, they both hold such a beautiful meaning, which emulates the values of charity. During Ramadhan, we are taught on why we should be performing the act of fasting. It is to teach us the value of what we possess, and to have a little empathy by understanding how the less fortunate feel when they do not have a hot plate at the end of the day to replenish their hunger. It is a life lesson of putting yourself in the shoes of a person who is going through a rough time. When Ramadhan reaches the end, it brings us in full circle to perform our duty of Zakat, which is to provide a little bit of our earnings to the ones who need a helping hand. The holy month of fasting always sheds a light of empathy for us to acknowledge the things we have, and how we should use it to help the ones who are in need.
Sadaqah and Sadaqah Jariyah on the other hand are slightly different from Zakat. Zakat is our duty to share our wealth. Sadaqah and Sadaqah Jariyah are more of a voluntary act of giving. It is a form of providing charity anytime, anywhere, and to anyone. As they say, “the world is your oyster.” So have at it as to where you want to spend your charity on. Now there is a slight contrast between Sadaqah and Sadaqah Jariyah. Both are voluntary and in some way, an act of giving, but only Sadaqah Jariyah is a form of continuous charity. When my brother passed, my parents had every intention to keep his legacy going. They went with a Sadaqah Jariyah to provide a well with clean water for a village in Cambodia in honor of him. This small gesture is a continuous form of giving whereby the people in this village have access to clean water. He may not be here in person with us anymore, but in some way he is giving with the Sadaqah Jariyah my parents created for him. So in all clarity, charity can begin in any shape, form or way. What makes it wholesome and pure is that our every intention to do charity comes from the heart.
Going back to the story of my brother’s legacy, he was the first person to ever teach me the act of charity at a very young age. When we were little, mum and dad would always bring us to the Sunday night market right by our house to get snacks or certain foods for the house. Before we even head out, he would always ask mum if I was tagging along to the night market. With everyone entirely unaware of his intentions, this was my first lesson of giving.
These markets are usually the spots where people who were struggling would come to find either food or a little bit of money to make it through the day. Back then, most of them carried milk tins as their pouch to carry the money that were given to them. Now this story has an appreciable nuance to it. My mum never realized the impact of what my brother knew at such a young age, until he passed. He would ask our mum for four dollars, but in coins, because he refuses to take dollar notes. Two dollars for him, and the other two for me. As we walked down the lane, our mum would wonder where the dinging sound was coming from. Each stall we stopped, there would be a dinging noise. Little did she know, my brother and I were dropping coins in each milk tin we saw a person holding as we walked down the night market lane. A story that always tickled our mum, but the lesson behind it is so potent.
This then led my mum to understand why he would always say, “Mama, you should always give away 25 cents if you have a dollar. When you do, you will get back a dollar and 25 cents.”
At first she was confused with his statement. She questioned him after and asked, “If I give away 25 cents, I am left with only 75 cents. How would I get a dollar and 25 cents from it?”
His only response was, “Don’t worry mama. You will get back a dollar and 25 cents when you give 25 cents. And when you give another 25 cents, you will get a dollar and 50 cents.”
It took our mum some time to realize that what my brother was trying to say is that when you give with your right hand, you gain double in the other. Now this, is a small teaching of charity in Islam. It sure gave my mum the goosebumps of how a little boy at such a young age, understood the principles of what charity stands for. I guess you could say his actions rubbed off on me, because nothing means more to me than being able to help a person if they need it. If I have the means, then by golly I know I can spare a little bit of my energy to help. I constantly carry the thought of how everyone has something they haul, and you never know what they are going through. So I always make an effort to smile at someone, or just say hey. Charity is to make an individual’s life better, and with just a smile or a “hey there”, you could have moved the moon for someone who’s having a bad day. Just think about it.
“The most truly generous persons are those who give silently without hope of praise or reward.”
Carol Ryrie Brink
I know charity can vary in size, and sometimes it gets pretty massive. So much so, it garners the attention of the media and press. Quite frankly the bigger the charity, the better help we can provide to those who need it. Though the word exploitation gets tossed in there, and it just sours the good name charity brings. What I mean by exploitation is how some individuals, corporations, and other organisations, including NGOs who have taken charity as a form of personal gain. In terms of personal gain, it can range from the vanilla 5 seconds of fame in the limelight, to a more sinister complex of tax exemption schemes or good ol’ money laundering. Sad to say, it happens all the time. A word that holds such good palpable values gets dragged through the mud for a slice of money pie. I know I have my fair share of disappointments of certain topics and actions, but this one right here, breaks my heart. This is beyond disappointment. A pure act of sheer kindness that is brought to mix with the wrong crowd, which ultimately rancids its true purpose and definition. Just inconceivable. I know you all probably think, well that is not all true. Yes, I agree it is not all true. There are some individuals, corporations, and organizations, including NGOs who are genuinely doing great things with charity, and making a difference. Those are the few rare gems I am okay with them receiving tax exemptions, because they are doing right by the people. Though I will tell you this; my thoughts on charity exploitation still stand strong, because I experienced it when I came back home with a goal in hand to create things for the betterment of the people when it comes to healthcare.
The reason for why I chose healthcare is because of my personal experience of being a primary caregiver to my brother while he had his treatments in the United States. Relating back to my article The Color of Blood, I saw a vast difference between the medical institutions of the United States and Malaysia. There were methods and attributes we could adopt from the US, and quite frankly be instilled in Malaysia’s healthcare facilities. This was a thought I had when my brother had his last moments in the hospitals in Malaysia. I felt I had to share my knowledge and suggestions as a form of opening up the minds of our people here in Malaysia to better our methods of caring for a human being. Being quiet about something I know that can make a change is being selfish. It was a duty I considered to be significant to educate our people about embracing good change, and broadening their horizon, for the betterment of our people.
“We can never get a re-creation of community and heal our society without giving our citizens a sense of belonging.”
Dr. Hunter “Patch” Adams
After my brother passed, I wanted to set up a foundation in his name. He was a giver, and come to think of it, growing up he was sort of my mentor from the time I started to speak. I knew I had a duty to continue his life mission in helping others if they need it. After seeing how many families in the United States who start up foundations in honor of their loved ones, I figured it would be easy for my family to set one up as well. Little did I know, Malaysia’s guidelines of setting one up was not as easy as I thought it was. After getting my ducks in a row, I asked my dad to tag along with me to the Companies Commission Malaysia to figure out what documentation we needed to register a foundation. Well, let’s just say a milk truck came crashing into me when the officer at the counter told me I needed $1,000,000 Malaysian Ringgit in capital to officially open one. A million Malaysian Ringgit… Equivalent to $247,000 USD. It’s okay. You can take a seat to ponder on that for a moment. I too need to take a minute. Boy did my plan take a major 360 roadblock.
I asked what was the reason for such a high capital start up for a foundation. The officer then began to explain how there have been many cases of individuals, corporations or organizations who started a foundation solely to get donations for their own personal expenditures. Hence the change in standard of procedures for setting up a foundation. As dismal as I felt to hear such a thing could happen, I was honestly not surprised. With the current affairs happening in Malaysia, I had a speck of suspicion of individuals who would smear corruption all over charity’s good name. I figured this was a route I had to pull a U-ie and head back to the drawing board. After much discussion with my mum, I decided to do something out of the box. If I am not able to set up a foundation as an individual, I figured why not work with someone who could help bring forth my vision of better healthcare methods in our hospitals. I decided to write a letter to Malaysia’s Health Minister in 2018.
Draft after draft, I finally came up with a 3 page letter explaining my intentions of meeting him to discuss my goal of changing a few things in our hospitals and care centers. Before you jump to any conclusions, the contents of my letter was not about asking for money. It was asking for his input and what course of action we could take with the government to help change things for the better. So off the email went to him. I waited and I waited. Unfortunately, I did not get a response back. I have to say I was a little salty about it, but it did not discourage me from moving forward. At this stage of my plan, time was against me. I had about a week left before heading back to the United States to start my Practical Training. After much thinking and discussion with my family, I chose to pull a hail mary to see if I could make a dent out of my whole plan, one last time. I printed two copies of my letter, put one in an envelope, and the other in my folder. Then I told my mum, we are going to the Health Minister’s office to see him. Come hail or high water, I was going to make it to his office. Of course there was hesitation and tension in the air with my current plan, but my mum was all for it. So to his office in Putrajaya we went. I admit, I was a tad bit nervous, but this was the one shot I had to take.
When we arrived at the main building of his office, we did get many stares and glares from the officers when they found out I wanted to see the Health Minister in his office. They could give me all the looks, but I was not breaking any rules. I was just a simple person with my mum who wanted to see the Health Minister. No big deal. We signed in and got our badges. My heart was racing as we took the elevator up to his floor. As the door opened we were greeted by his personal assistant. I gave him the whole spiel of why I was there that morning. Well to no surprise he gave me a generic smile and said the Health Minister was not in but he was happy enough to give him the letter. I obliged and asked him to sign the acknowledgment of receipt. After dropping off the letter at his office, I had no other choice but to head home. I knew it was a long shot, but I took a chance, and I did what I could to try and make a difference.
If you are still with me reading this article, I could probably guess a few of you would say, “He probably never got back to you.” Evidently yes, he did not get back to me. You know, it would have been grand if he did get back to me, but in my honest opinion, even if he was not interested, he could have just sent an acknowledgment email. I don’t know, but that’s just how I function where I believe common courtesy should be a bone instilled in us. The dejection stung a tad bit I have to admit. A little demoralizing, but not to the extent of giving up. For those who know me well, I would always say we have to look at the brighter side of things and be positive about it. Looking at it, Wabi-Sabi sure does fit the bill for this one. The little roadblock I hit was not going to stop me from doing the good deed of charity. I just had to figure out another alternative, which still stood for what my late brother believed in.
“The smallest act of kindness is worth more than the grandest intention”
Oscar Wilde
I was dreaming big. The sheer act of amelioration was yearning sustenance, and quite frankly burning inside me to act. Little did I know, my mum’s advice was the key to bring me back down to Earth to get my ducks in a row. What I needed was and has always been in my backyard to make the difference I strive for. Charity begins at home, so the first step was for me to acknowledge how I should be starting from there. Consequently, I hit the ground running, punching gas, and burning rubber to help anywhere I can for the organizations and individuals who crossed paths with my family during our time of hardship. A simple gesture of support and sending prayers to them were the acts of charity I could afford to do. Sure it’s a speck of an act, but a heck of a momentous one with such paramount.
A smile or prayer are always one of the best charity practices to go with. An occasional simple donation to organizations you know are credible with their form of utilizing the charitable gifts given to them is also a well deserved pat on the back. To me, organizations like Family House San Francisco is the one I am more than willing to lend a hand to if I could. This organization was there for our family at our lowest, and they provided nothing but comfort and friendship. As mushy as this sounds, Family House ultimately gifted us with beautiful at heart individuals who became a part of our family. They did not have to provide us with much. All they did to earn my respect and support is by their charitable ways of smiling every time a family walks in through the front door, or when they set up activities for everyone to enjoy so they would not have to think about being at the hospital all the time. Their services of free accommodation, laundry, food, hugs, and smiles are in some way a form of benevolence, which I believe deserves some recognition. They never ask for anything in return. The only time I have seen them put out a call for support was for new toys to stock up Fozzy’s Toy Room for any kid that walks through their doors. A piece of comfort they can provide to a kid who is going through a rough journey, or to their siblings who have to live in a new environment after moving for their brother or sister’s medical treatment.
Family House is not the only organization I feel who practices the act of giving. UCSF Benioff Children’s Hospital, the very institution who gave my late brother a fighting chance, gave us and the other families a gift, I feel that represents the very essence charity stands for. Of course hospitals are the last place we all want to be in. So the people who work in one, especially the one we were in, made sure we never thought about the agony these institutions can unintentionally bring. These are families with little ones who have no clue why they have to go through such pain. The hospital is the last place they need to be, therefore the doctors, nurses, and caregivers make it their goal to ease the pain. We were blessed to have absolutely brilliant doctors, nurses, patient care assistants, and pastors who gave us nothing short of graceful acts of giving. They made us smile and laugh, with the constant comfort they showered us with when things got gloomy during treatment days. Their benevolence is what I distinguish as an act of healing from the pain each illness brings. People may overlook it, but believe or not, the actions and deeds of providing emotional remedial relief is in some way the formula of complete healing. The beauty behind this is how my late brother reciprocated the same acknowledgement to the people who cared for him. His way of doing so is by only asking and saying, “How are you today doc? I know you have to deal with a lot of patients with different medical issues. So I thought I should ask how you are doing.” Need I say more on how much charity and giving does to provide solace?
“What counts in life is not the mere fact that we lived. It is what difference we have made to the lives of others that will determine the significance of the life we lead”
Nelson “Madiba” Mandela
Charity is something I consider to be a treasured asset we need to safeguard from corruption. After the experience I went through, I have become sort of an advocate to educate people in Malaysia about what it means to donate, and what charity is really all about. Look in our backyard first, and see what we can afford to give in some way. It could be a relative who is going through a rough patch. Your form of charity is to maybe provide some assuring words, with a shoulder to cry on. You could even look up local initiatives that do not get the backing of the government. They are the ones who rely on the funding of people like us who could provide items or even just a little bit of cash to help them get by. If we are a little adventurous, you could even smile and say, “How’s it going today?” to a stranger as you pass by them. Like I said, it can be anything, “the world is your oyster.” There is a lot we can give in this world. It is a matter of whether you are doing it from the heart.
My friends and family are the people who give me the inspiration and motivation to bring life into my late brother’s mission. I believe I am doing his work in some way, by being a good person to the best of my abilities, and doing my fair share of helping wherever I can. I know it may not be as big as my initial intentions of starting his foundation; but the act of giving within my means with no judgment and half-baked decisions, is far more meaningful than a big donation with the purpose of gaining publicity. All I can say to everyone who has made it this far with my article, I hope you gain a different perspective of what it means to be a giver. God willing, and fingers crossed, I have done my part to open up your mind and heart in knowing how rich your life can be, knowing you have done right by the world, with one act of kindness at a time. Now, the healing process can begin.
“Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it”
Helen Keller
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